Oh, good evening may I speak to.....................

I worked in telemarketing and I know it's a job you only take when you can't get much else, it's legal and it pays the bills, so I have no malice towards the poor soul who had my number on auto-dial; the poor woman just didn't know who she was dealing with.

Some chirpy bird on the end of the line informed me that she was going to save me a fortune with my shopping by allowing my to buy at wholesale prices. It was then I informed her that I didn't go shopping.................it all went quiet for a second.
She was about to launch into her spiel and I saved her the time with the retort that I: buy my clothes in charity shops and car boot sales, I own no new furniture and everything I have comes from people selling goods second hand in the classifieds, that I make my own soap, I shop in Lidl or Aldi, I only buy Tesco basics, that I have scoured every price comparison website and get the cheapest deals on: car, boiler, home and contents insurance.

I am on the lowest energy tariffs you can get, I have an energy meter so I keep my bills uber-low, I use the library so I don't buy books, I grow my own veg, I make my own jam and pickles, I make my own Christmas presents and my friends call me the frugal queen........................she hung up!!!!