Magazine Rack

MAGAZINE RACK
Friends of mine have alerted me to several "Nick sightings" on the newstands. Last month, in "Glamour" magazine, there was a photo of Tim Gunn and myself, with a caption that read: "Men Don't Care What Your Clothes Cost" (in regards to our feminine counterparts). I know that Emmett was a bit mad that the photo was of me and Tim and not of him and Tim. He likens their torrid love affair to a Jane Austen novel! I was NOT cheating on Tim and you, Emmett, I swear! And in last week's "Star Magazine", their was , yet another photo of Miss Britney Spears, looking a mess, as she was doing her daily business. I was asked to comment on the photos, and I said what was on my mind. I am certainly no fashion expert, but it doesn't take one to recognize a "fashion violation" so criminal as this one. They quoted me as saying, "She looks like a Stripper who is just getting off of work..." Notice the scrunchee on her wrist. Who does that, I ask you? In 2006! I also said that, instead of reading Vogue, she looked like she was reading Guns and Ammo. They didn't print that, thank God (Oh wait, but I just did!). Britney, have your stylist give me a call, and I will make you a beautiful , yet sexy Empire-cut dress, that will make you look more like a Greecian Goddess and less like you should be in "Cops".