I have previously been and am currently as size 16/18 but was a size 12 for most of my adult life. I went up to a size 16 and then by following the Weight Watchers point system, lost weight and became a size 10/12. I spent almost three years at that size and in that time, I religiously counted every point I ate. I weighed every portion, only ever drank 125ml of wine in a sitting (2 points) and at my most zealous, weighed 10 stone. I don't remember the 'fuck this' moment but it certainly happened and I started eating again. I have a whole series of clothes ranging from a size 10 to size 16.
After the Easter holiday, I opened the huge bottom drawer at the base of my antique wardrobe, and took out a whole bunch of lightweight clothes that I bought last year. I had some knee length shorts, some linen trousers, some tunic tops and they were loose fitting last year. This year I can just about get half a knocker in the tops and a quarter of a backside in the trousers. I tried on numerous clothes to go on an important meeting on Thursday and nothing fitted. So the 'fuck this' moment has resulted in a 'oh fuck!' situation. I suppose this is what I did to get into debt and it took a massive wake up moment to say 'no more' and change my life.
You all know I love to cook and love to eat. You may have noticed that I haven't been blogging 'food'.....it's because I've stopped eating it! I am not going back to Weight Watchers or any other saddo club where desperate people discuss a 'bad week' (usually a Mars bar binge) or a 'good week' as I always felt no one was really taking it seriously. It true 'Froogs' style; I'm an all or nothing kind of person. The walks have stepped up and the portions have drastically scaled down. To be honest, I've mainly eaten steamed or raw plain vegetables and very lean protein and that's not exciting, frugal or interesting to read about.
Lunches just look like this! 1400 calories of low fat and tonnes of fresh unadulterated veg. I remember the time when I cut up the credit card, cancelled the overdraft and organised my debt snowball plan. To begin with, it felt Draconian and, with all cold turkey situations, it was tough. I know this is a life long plan that will lead towards retiring at what is considered a normal age to retire, instead of 70 and having a debt free life and savings. This week has had a lot of thinking about my size and implications for my health. We all have a 'healthy weight'. It's usually the weight we were for most of our lives. For me, it's size 12/14.This means you'll be seeing a lot more of money saving around the house and garden, me busy making things and not cooking, lots more of the walking and if you don't mind, I won't be documenting the weight loss. I've no idea if going it alone is going to be successful.
I recently tried to return to the Weight Watchers plan and after the initial 5lbs of weight loss, I didn't lose anything at all, even though I stuck at it for well over six weeks..............funnily enough, that resulted in another 'fuck this' moment. I'm not and never have been unhappy with what I look like. You all know I've placed lots of photos of myself on the blog and I'm happy enough with who I am. I certainly had an epiphany when I could no longer fit into the biggest clothes I've ever owned. That was my line in the sand moment and I'm not prepared to cross it and go and buy size 18 clothes. For me, that's a step too far.
I'll be off for lots of long walks this weekend, there won't be a picnic nor any cake on the return. Sorry about the lack of food; I'll be sharing the other parts of my money saving life. The biggest money saving hope is that I will get back into the clothes I bought last year!
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