Top 10 Worst of 2010: The Runners Up

Narrowing down the field to just 10 of the worst appearances of the year was nearly impossible. You know I love the disastrous appearances. So, without further ado, the ones that almost made it:

Things that Make Me Sad

L to R: Princess Máxima, Princess Mathilde, Princess Alexia, Grand Duchess Maria Teresa, Princess Alexandra, Sarah Ferguson

From bad fabrics (that'd be Máxima and Maria Teresa) to bad shapes (Mathilde and Alexia), these ladies brought me down with their unfortunate selections. Designers make me sad, too: example being when NATAN attacked poor young Princess Alexandra. And when Sarah busted out her Alexander McQueen...it made me weep for the memory of that poor designer. Have some respect for his legacy, Sarah: retire that dress.

That's enough of the sad. Let's get back to the humorous appearances, shall we?

When Accessories Attack

L to R: Princess Elena, Princess Anne, Princess Michael, Queen Margrethe, Princess Claire

It's the bolero and the hair piece on Elena that takes this pink number from just enthusiastically ball-gownish to straight up costume. Similarly, Princess Anne's outfit on Ascot Day 2 wasn't that bad...until you saw the hair ornaments. It's a little disturbing on a woman of Anne's age (not to mention a woman of Anne's persona). Even more disturbing, though, is this fortune teller get up of Princess Michael. Talk about your costumes! What's not a costume, of course, is Margrethe's floral raincoat - that's just who she is (shame she didn't bust out the matching hat, though). And I'm sadly afraid that these necklaces attacking Princess Claire might just be who she is. Yikes.

Royal Hippies

L to R: Princess Cristina, Queen Sofia, Princess Letizia, Charlene Wittstock

A nice printed fabric, a lovely flow...just makes you yearn for the beach (or Woodstock). But on royal duty? Methinks not. At least we're getting a picture of where Elena might have gotten the inspiration for her clown pants. I have no explanation for Charlene, though. Let's just hope she'll have a better Armani experience come wedding time.

Prints Gone Wild

L to R: Crown Princess Margarita, Princess Irene, Queen Beatrix, Princess Märtha Louise (times 2!)

Oh, prints went wild on the dance floor too this year. Margarita combined the ever-popular jail bird trend with a nice floral for a truly mind-boggling frock, while Princess Irene and Queen Beatrix went paisley (why?). Märtha Louise, always one to give us something to snicker at, dished up two doozies this year: sea creature with a mullet at Victoria's pre-wedding dinner, and striped up like a football star during the Netherlands state visit. It should be noted that she's worn that dress before, to Frederik and Mary's wedding. She appears to only wear it when she has a sash that accentuates the stripe-age.

A Serious Case of Try Hard

L to R: Crown Princess Pavlos, Princess Nikolaos, Princess Letizia, Crown Princess Victoria, Crown Princess Mary, Princess Mabel

There's a lot of fashionable princesses mucking about out there. There are some that are truly stylish, and some that just think they are, but they all have their moments of Trying Too Hard. Marie-Chantal is a couture-clad designer, but I still don't get this overly metallic frock. (Too much.) Tatiana's another fashion industry veteran, but this black outfit crosses from fashionable to Halloween. (Too harsh.) Letizia tries, but I will never have any love for the M.C. Hammer pants. (Too wrong.) I love Victoria, but shooties? Seriously? (Too much of a travesty.) And Mary, she gets it right so often, but this top and these pants and those shoes on a pregnant lady...no. (Too much try.)

Naturally, we close once again with Mabel. With stripper shoes...and a jumpsuit. Wait, why didn't this one make the countdown? Crap.

Alright, you've heard me out. Now, tell me: who did I miss?

Top 10 Worst of 2010: The Runners Up

Narrowing down the field to just 10 of the worst appearances of the year was nearly impossible. You know I love the disastrous appearances. So, without further ado, the ones that almost made it:

Things that Make Me Sad

L to R: Princess Máxima, Princess Mathilde, Princess Alexia, Grand Duchess Maria Teresa, Princess Alexandra, Sarah Ferguson

From bad fabrics (that'd be Máxima and Maria Teresa) to bad shapes (Mathilde and Alexia), these ladies brought me down with their unfortunate selections. Designers make me sad, too: example being when NATAN attacked poor young Princess Alexandra. And when Sarah busted out her Alexander McQueen...it made me weep for the memory of that poor designer. Have some respect for his legacy, Sarah: retire that dress.

That's enough of the sad. Let's get back to the humorous appearances, shall we?

When Accessories Attack

L to R: Princess Elena, Princess Anne, Princess Michael, Queen Margrethe, Princess Claire

It's the bolero and the hair piece on Elena that takes this pink number from just enthusiastically ball-gownish to straight up costume. Similarly, Princess Anne's outfit on Ascot Day 2 wasn't that bad...until you saw the hair ornaments. It's a little disturbing on a woman of Anne's age (not to mention a woman of Anne's persona). Even more disturbing, though, is this fortune teller get up of Princess Michael. Talk about your costumes! What's not a costume, of course, is Margrethe's floral raincoat - that's just who she is (shame she didn't bust out the matching hat, though). And I'm sadly afraid that these necklaces attacking Princess Claire might just be who she is. Yikes.

Royal Hippies

L to R: Princess Cristina, Queen Sofia, Princess Letizia, Charlene Wittstock

A nice printed fabric, a lovely flow...just makes you yearn for the beach (or Woodstock). But on royal duty? Methinks not. At least we're getting a picture of where Elena might have gotten the inspiration for her clown pants. I have no explanation for Charlene, though. Let's just hope she'll have a better Armani experience come wedding time.

Prints Gone Wild

L to R: Crown Princess Margarita, Princess Irene, Queen Beatrix, Princess Märtha Louise (times 2!)

Oh, prints went wild on the dance floor too this year. Margarita combined the ever-popular jail bird trend with a nice floral for a truly mind-boggling frock, while Princess Irene and Queen Beatrix went paisley (why?). Märtha Louise, always one to give us something to snicker at, dished up two doozies this year: sea creature with a mullet at Victoria's pre-wedding dinner, and striped up like a football star during the Netherlands state visit. It should be noted that she's worn that dress before, to Frederik and Mary's wedding. She appears to only wear it when she has a sash that accentuates the stripe-age.

A Serious Case of Try Hard

L to R: Crown Princess Pavlos, Princess Nikolaos, Princess Letizia, Crown Princess Victoria, Crown Princess Mary, Princess Mabel

There's a lot of fashionable princesses mucking about out there. There are some that are truly stylish, and some that just think they are, but they all have their moments of Trying Too Hard. Marie-Chantal is a couture-clad designer, but I still don't get this overly metallic frock. (Too much.) Tatiana's another fashion industry veteran, but this black outfit crosses from fashionable to Halloween. (Too harsh.) Letizia tries, but I will never have any love for the M.C. Hammer pants. (Too wrong.) I love Victoria, but shooties? Seriously? (Too much of a travesty.) And Mary, she gets it right so often, but this top and these pants and those shoes on a pregnant lady...no. (Too much try.)

Naturally, we close once again with Mabel. With stripper shoes...and a jumpsuit. Wait, why didn't this one make the countdown? Crap.

Alright, you've heard me out. Now, tell me: who did I miss?

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #1. Princess Mabel at Crown Princess Victoria's Wedding

I thought about it, and I thought about it, and here's what I came up with:

This thing just can't be topped. I mean, it hits all the criteria I set out at the beginning of this list:

Raucous laughter: check. Come on, it's both a tutu and business wear. Hilarity!

Gasps of horror: oh yeah. I'll say it again, it's both a tutu and business wear. WHY?

The rare, but potent, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T": never more true. This isn't something worn to a gala party where Mabel was the headliner. She wore this to someone's wedding. And you know the primary rule of wedding attire: don't you dare upstage the bride. If this isn't an attempt at that, then I really don't know what's going on here.

I'm just going to go ahead and assume this one made your list, so tell me: was it your number one?

Also, coming tomorrow: the outfits that almost made my list.

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #1. Princess Mabel at Crown Princess Victoria's Wedding

I thought about it, and I thought about it, and here's what I came up with:

This thing just can't be topped. I mean, it hits all the criteria I set out at the beginning of this list:

Raucous laughter: check. Come on, it's both a tutu and business wear. Hilarity!

Gasps of horror: oh yeah. I'll say it again, it's both a tutu and business wear. WHY?

The rare, but potent, "OH NO YOU DIDN'T": never more true. This isn't something worn to a gala party where Mabel was the headliner. She wore this to someone's wedding. And you know the primary rule of wedding attire: don't you dare upstage the bride. If this isn't an attempt at that, then I really don't know what's going on here.

I'm just going to go ahead and assume this one made your list, so tell me: was it your number one?

Also, coming tomorrow: the outfits that almost made my list.

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #2. Princess Elena at an Exhibit Opening

And the next stop on our trip through the worst outfits of 2010 brings us to a pause in the land of LOL:

Like I said before, this is a technicolor dream suit. Maybe just the jacket I could deal with, but the trousers just send this straight into comical territory. It's just...SO MUCH.

I guess that's just become Elena's territory of late. Those memorable costumes at Victoria's wedding pop into the brain, for starters. And this suit is a repeat from earlier times, so maybe she's always lived here. I can't decide if this is a case of trying too hard or not trying hard enough, but I thank her for the laughs anyways.

Photos: IPAPRESS/Belga

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #2. Princess Elena at an Exhibit Opening

And the next stop on our trip through the worst outfits of 2010 brings us to a pause in the land of LOL:

Like I said before, this is a technicolor dream suit. Maybe just the jacket I could deal with, but the trousers just send this straight into comical territory. It's just...SO MUCH.

I guess that's just become Elena's territory of late. Those memorable costumes at Victoria's wedding pop into the brain, for starters. And this suit is a repeat from earlier times, so maybe she's always lived here. I can't decide if this is a case of trying too hard or not trying hard enough, but I thank her for the laughs anyways.

Photos: IPAPRESS/Belga

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #3. Bridesmaids at Nikolaos and Tatiana's Wedding

Not technically royals, no. But since they were bridesmaids, I'm going on the assumption that these dresses were chosen by Tatiana, or at the very least approved by her. So I'm counting it.

And really, how could I not:

This just does not compute. I mean, if you were going to the school dance with a bunch of your girlfriends and you decided to put on a silly show of solidarity, sure. That I would get.

But this is a wedding. A royal wedding, at that. I have to be honest, even if these were the bride's choice at a family wedding held in the Nowheresville that I hail from, I'd raise an eyebrow. And I have relatives that have been known to wear blue jeans to weddings. (Oh, how I wish I was kidding.)

Or maybe I'm just disappointed. Out of Tatiana, if I can't get something to fall in love with, I at least expect to get something high fashion. Not mall chain prom.

Photo: Getty Images/Europa Press

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #3. Bridesmaids at Nikolaos and Tatiana's Wedding

Not technically royals, no. But since they were bridesmaids, I'm going on the assumption that these dresses were chosen by Tatiana, or at the very least approved by her. So I'm counting it.

And really, how could I not:

This just does not compute. I mean, if you were going to the school dance with a bunch of your girlfriends and you decided to put on a silly show of solidarity, sure. That I would get.

But this is a wedding. A royal wedding, at that. I have to be honest, even if these were the bride's choice at a family wedding held in the Nowheresville that I hail from, I'd raise an eyebrow. And I have relatives that have been known to wear blue jeans to weddings. (Oh, how I wish I was kidding.)

Or maybe I'm just disappointed. Out of Tatiana, if I can't get something to fall in love with, I at least expect to get something high fashion. Not mall chain prom.

Photo: Getty Images/Europa Press

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #4. Princess Stephanie at the Red Cross Ball

Really, any number of Stephanie appearances this year were game for this list. But I picked this one:

 Like I said about Stephanie on National Day, she always looks guilty. And she is:

Guilty of abuse of tanning supplies in the first degree.

Guilty of reusing the foil wrapped around her dinner leftovers to wrap herself.

Guilty of not one, but two serious violations of the rules of decent cleavage. (Broken rule #1: A little goes a long way. Broken rule #2: Thou shalt not squish those bad boys.)

Guilty of wearing a sartorial mullet, and wearing it the wrong way around: the business end is supposed to be in the front, with the party in the back. This is night club in the front and gala in the back.

Oh, Stephanie.

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #4. Princess Stephanie at the Red Cross Ball

Really, any number of Stephanie appearances this year were game for this list. But I picked this one:

 Like I said about Stephanie on National Day, she always looks guilty. And she is:

Guilty of abuse of tanning supplies in the first degree.

Guilty of reusing the foil wrapped around her dinner leftovers to wrap herself.

Guilty of not one, but two serious violations of the rules of decent cleavage. (Broken rule #1: A little goes a long way. Broken rule #2: Thou shalt not squish those bad boys.)

Guilty of wearing a sartorial mullet, and wearing it the wrong way around: the business end is supposed to be in the front, with the party in the back. This is night club in the front and gala in the back.

Oh, Stephanie.

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #5. Princess Laurentien at a Literacy Event

I'm not sure I could make a Worst Top 10 list without an appearance by Princess Laurentien. After all, this is the lady that made not one, but two appearances on the list of Top 10 Worst Dressed Royal Wedding Guests (and you can relive that fun here and here).

And looky here, she's done it again:

The scarf feels like a move out of an aging rocker's playbook. So do the leggings. Keith Richards, anyone?

Also, for the record: I do love red shoes. (In order, my favorite shoe colors are purple, yellow, and then red. Just so you know.) Not these red shoes, though. I'm sure they're made of the finest that today's petroleum products have to offer, but no. I maintain my position that these right here are stripper shoes.

Oh, and stockings with peep toe shoes? Don't get me started. Reminds me of the things I used to see visiting Grandma at the old folks' home.

Photos: PPE/v.d. Werf

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #5. Princess Laurentien at a Literacy Event

I'm not sure I could make a Worst Top 10 list without an appearance by Princess Laurentien. After all, this is the lady that made not one, but two appearances on the list of Top 10 Worst Dressed Royal Wedding Guests (and you can relive that fun here and here).

And looky here, she's done it again:

The scarf feels like a move out of an aging rocker's playbook. So do the leggings. Keith Richards, anyone?

Also, for the record: I do love red shoes. (In order, my favorite shoe colors are purple, yellow, and then red. Just so you know.) Not these red shoes, though. I'm sure they're made of the finest that today's petroleum products have to offer, but no. I maintain my position that these right here are stripper shoes.

Oh, and stockings with peep toe shoes? Don't get me started. Reminds me of the things I used to see visiting Grandma at the old folks' home.

Photos: PPE/v.d. Werf

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #6. Princess Letizia at a Research Center Inaguration

We've talked about Letizia's business casual wardrobe. But just when I thought she'd reached the most casual she could get...

Shorts. She wore shorts. With a dressed down jacket, button down shirt, and casual scarf. To an official engagement. Le sigh. (El sigh?)

Letizia doesn't really do the whole fairy tale thing much. She seems to tow the whole "Royals! They're just like us!" line. Okay. I don't really get that line of thinking - to me, hey, if you really are just like me why should I be interested in you? - but I'm not Spanish, so it doesn't really matter.

However: there is a line between sporting casual, affordable, public relations-friendly gear and just plain out inappropriate under-dressing. The line has been crossed, and the list has been made.

Photo: Zimbio

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #6. Princess Letizia at a Research Center Inaguration

We've talked about Letizia's business casual wardrobe. But just when I thought she'd reached the most casual she could get...

Shorts. She wore shorts. With a dressed down jacket, button down shirt, and casual scarf. To an official engagement. Le sigh. (El sigh?)

Letizia doesn't really do the whole fairy tale thing much. She seems to tow the whole "Royals! They're just like us!" line. Okay. I don't really get that line of thinking - to me, hey, if you really are just like me why should I be interested in you? - but I'm not Spanish, so it doesn't really matter.

However: there is a line between sporting casual, affordable, public relations-friendly gear and just plain out inappropriate under-dressing. The line has been crossed, and the list has been made.

Photo: Zimbio

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #7. Queen Sonja at Queen Margrethe's Birthday Celebrations

When I announced this new top 10 list, there were suggestions of upholstered queens and tutus as potential list subjects. My friends, I present to you: The Upholstered Tutu (and on a Queen to boot).

Ruffles and layers and lace, all in a fine shade of mustard.  I just have to ask...what about this is supposed to be attractive?

For sheer head-shaking bafflement, this one makes the list.

(Also: Do you think Sonja influenced Mette-Marit's recent run of tiered ruffle gowns, or perhaps the other way around?)

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #7. Queen Sonja at Queen Margrethe's Birthday Celebrations

When I announced this new top 10 list, there were suggestions of upholstered queens and tutus as potential list subjects. My friends, I present to you: The Upholstered Tutu (and on a Queen to boot).

Ruffles and layers and lace, all in a fine shade of mustard.  I just have to ask...what about this is supposed to be attractive?

For sheer head-shaking bafflement, this one makes the list.

(Also: Do you think Sonja influenced Mette-Marit's recent run of tiered ruffle gowns, or perhaps the other way around?)

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #8. Sarah Ferguson at Alice Ferguson's Wedding

Sarah Ferguson didn't even make that many appearances in 2010, yet there were two serious contenders among them for my little list. Quite a feat, that. Both well done and exceedingly poorly done at the same time.

There was this one, of course. Oh, Sarah. But this one takes the cake for me:

Where do I even start? Let's just dig right in: the dress carries a distracting pattern and a distracting neckline, and then she's gone and placed it under a jacket which has it's own serious amount of STUFF going on, and all that goes under a fascinator that has yet more things happening on it. The bag's for evening, the shoes are more for day, and neither is an appropriate match to the whimsy that dress is trying to bring to the ensemble.

You can not use the art of TOO MUCH to distract from the fact that you can't dress yourself properly for your own age. Attempt it, and you shall find yourself on the Worst list. I'm sorry, but those are the rules.

Photo: Daily Mail

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #8. Sarah Ferguson at Alice Ferguson's Wedding

Sarah Ferguson didn't even make that many appearances in 2010, yet there were two serious contenders among them for my little list. Quite a feat, that. Both well done and exceedingly poorly done at the same time.

There was this one, of course. Oh, Sarah. But this one takes the cake for me:

Where do I even start? Let's just dig right in: the dress carries a distracting pattern and a distracting neckline, and then she's gone and placed it under a jacket which has it's own serious amount of STUFF going on, and all that goes under a fascinator that has yet more things happening on it. The bag's for evening, the shoes are more for day, and neither is an appropriate match to the whimsy that dress is trying to bring to the ensemble.

You can not use the art of TOO MUCH to distract from the fact that you can't dress yourself properly for your own age. Attempt it, and you shall find yourself on the Worst list. I'm sorry, but those are the rules.

Photo: Daily Mail

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #9. Prince Henrik at the Royal Hunt

Let's play a game! Come on, it'll be fun.

Let's turn back time and pretend that you had yourself a hot little ticket to Victoria and Daniel's wedding. Let's also say that you got to choose who you were seated beside at the banquet (we're playing pretend here, go with it). Any two royals to be seated between. Who would you pick?

Me? If I was in the mood for gossip, I think I'd go with Madeleine and Mary. Out of pure curiosity, I might go with Letizia and Felipe just to see what that's like. If I was on the mood for...something else, I'd go with Guillaume and Félix and Carl Philip (that's three, but I can cheat because it's my game).

On the other hand, if I wanted to have the most fun night ever, I rather think I'd go with Máxima on one side and none other than the Prince Consort himself, Henrik, on the other.

I mean, if this guy can make me laugh out loud just by getting dressed in the morning, can you imagine what fun I'd have over dinner?

I admire the spirit, but that kind of fashion statement (punctuated by the fact that it is no more a costume than anything else he wears is) has to have a place on the list.

Now, pop down to the comments and play our game! I promise, it's fun. Plus, I'm nosy and I wanna know your answers.

Photos: PPE

Top 10 Worst of 2010: #9. Prince Henrik at the Royal Hunt

Let's play a game! Come on, it'll be fun.

Let's turn back time and pretend that you had yourself a hot little ticket to Victoria and Daniel's wedding. Let's also say that you got to choose who you were seated beside at the banquet (we're playing pretend here, go with it). Any two royals to be seated between. Who would you pick?

Me? If I was in the mood for gossip, I think I'd go with Madeleine and Mary. Out of pure curiosity, I might go with Letizia and Felipe just to see what that's like. If I was on the mood for...something else, I'd go with Guillaume and Félix and Carl Philip (that's three, but I can cheat because it's my game).

On the other hand, if I wanted to have the most fun night ever, I rather think I'd go with Máxima on one side and none other than the Prince Consort himself, Henrik, on the other.

I mean, if this guy can make me laugh out loud just by getting dressed in the morning, can you imagine what fun I'd have over dinner?

I admire the spirit, but that kind of fashion statement (punctuated by the fact that it is no more a costume than anything else he wears is) has to have a place on the list.

Now, pop down to the comments and play our game! I promise, it's fun. Plus, I'm nosy and I wanna know your answers.

Photos: PPE