Coming along nicely

 Day two and number one son has worked really well today. He's exhausted after working away as a shop fitter for weeks on end, chasing a few quid where he can get it. It's a total privilege to have him home doing the work for us. Originally, we organised a local tradesman to do this and when our son found out, he insisted on coming home on his week off to do this for us. It's wonderful when they get old enough to understand pay back.

Today, he re-routed the plumbing, cut holes in walls to take the drainage, installed new plumbing, moved an electrical supply (one of his many talents and qualifications, along with general plumbing) fitted the sink and plumbed in the dishwasher. Not bad for a guy who's having a few days off after over a month working away on a variety of building sites. Tomorrow, he will fit the utility room before he goes onto the finishing touches of tiling and painting. He's a wonderful gift. xxxx

The sink was massively reduced as it's a 'order only' item that a customer didn't pay for and the building supplier had 'in the warehouse' and needed to be 'got rid of'. the taps, were a different story and took me a day to earn!

Somebody's daughter.

 We're all some one's baby. My girly used to hold her arms up to me when I'd walked her too far and say "Mummy up" and I'd pick her up. Every now and then, a confused and mumbling voice will come over the phone, sometimes incoherent, but the message I can still hear is "Mummy up". We go, scoop her up and always make sure she has a soft place to fall. Some body's daughter didn't start off in live a mess of drink and drugs, they played, did their homework, snuggled up for a story and were full of their mum's hopes for their tomorrows and tomorrows.

 Some body's daughter was brought up with lots of love, with fun and happiness, parks and picnics alongside hard work and ambition.

 There will be parents all over the world, who watched the news today and knew it could have been their daughter. There are parents all over the world who prickle when the phone rings or a police car drives down their avenue as it could the voice they never want to hear coming to tell it to them as it is. There are parents all over the world, who like me, were touched by the sad but not unexpected news of Amy Winehouse's drug overdose and sad death and yet sighed with relief that it was somebody else's daughter and not ours today.

 We often think that drug and alcohol abuse is a dark and frightening place but for addicts, it's the peaceful numbness in a dark and confusing world that you want to medicate yourself from. I'm quite sure that for people with a self destructive gene that if there were no drugs and no alcohol, they'd still find a way of harming themselves as self inflicted pain is so less intense than the pain that life inflicts upon some people. Some body's daughter couldn't make sense of how lovely she was, how creative, how beautiful and certainly couldn't make sense of a changing world that may hold a brightness tomorrow that is constantly shadowed today.

Amy's death today has touched me, but the saddest part is that I was glad it was somebody else's daughter and not my turn today.

Soft place to fall

Today has been about open arms, an open mind, opening options, listening, being cried on and being a mum. A crisis for my girlie has consumed me today and I'll get back on with my life when we're all upright and OK. I know those of you who have read my blog for a while will know exactly what I mean.

Cobwebs go hang,
Dust go to sleep,
I'm rockin' my baby,
and babies don't keep. xxx

I'm off to do some more rockin'

Love Froogsxxxx

There by the grace of God go I.

Poor Kids

Thanks to Sharon and a Facebook link, I watched the BBC documentary 'Poor Kids'. I live in the 5th richest country in the world and yet every day, thousands of kids live in poverty and total squalor. I've put the link above and would ask any one who hasn't seen it, to do so. I don't think you can watch it if you live outside the UK. It's filmed, with the parents permission by just letting the children talk. What they say is devastating to hear.

When I think of my childhood, we were 'skint'. We lived in a cold house, washed in cold water every day but Sunday, which was bath day and we ate a variety of kinds of stew or soup. My parents were though, incredibly resourceful. My dad, and just about every body's dad fished of Par harbour wall, off Spit beach and off Polkerris. We ate soused mackerel and fried whiting, until, I probably stunk of it. Dad's idea of entertaining us was to take us 'crabbing' for the huge brown crabs that lurk in hidey holes in rock pools and we would drag them out with a 'crab hook'. He used to take us bird watching and lift us on his shoulders and if we promised to be very still and very quiet he would show us black bird nests and we would go back and see the chicks. We ate homemade bread with blackberry jelly and we ate it every day for breakfast. We had chickens in the back garden of our council house, behind the rows and rows of veg and we had eggs, but not many.

 We had 'clamps' for root veg and kilner jars ranged on shelves in sheds filled with tomatoes, stewed fruit, more stewed blackberries. We would walk, with a knackered old pram to fetch parafin out of the Esso blue machine outside the iron mongers on Hambleys' corner. In fact, that knackered old pram (I remember feeling ashamed pushing that ****ing thing around! ) went to Dave's discount in St. Blazey, which was  a fair old walk from where we lived and mum used to buy a 'fore quarter' of beef, all of which must have died of old age and needed the regulation stewing for days on end on top of the 'rayburn' in the front room. But, we ate hearty meals and there was always plenty of it.

Everything happened around that rayburn. School blouses and knee high white socks used to go in a big jam pan on top of it, with a sprinkle of Tide and would come out gleaming, they they would be hung over the Rayburn to dry. In the summer, they blew dry in the breeze. We used to fetch a kettle off it to wash up and wash ourselves (the council never fixed the back boiler in all the twenty three years mum lived there!) We would sit by it as our only source of heat, the oven door open on a Sunday as we sat with our back to it to dry our hair. Bread would be rising on it, baking in it, washing would bubble away in a big pan ontop to be fished out and spun in a spinny machine that mum would have to sit on to stop it wandering around the front room as she caught the water in a bowl beside it.

Knit wear came from jumble sales, was unpicked, re-knitted into waistcoats and pullovers for us all and crocheted into blankets for our beds. Clothes were altered and refashioned. When A line skirts were 'out' and straight skirts were 'in', mum would alter them, collars were turned, school jumpers unpicked and refashioned to fit the next term. Shoes were always cleaned and our school coat brushed before we left the house.

Entertainment came from the local church groups, Sunday school, the village fete, the school fair and Christmas Bazaar. The ECLP works do for kids at Christmas, with something nice and new to wear, mum and dad dancing, mum a bit tiddly on a glass of Blue Nun and dad with a pint of Watneys.

We were by any comparison, a skint family. Sweets were for Christmas and birthdays, holidays were unheard of, we some times went cold and we didn't have a choice of food. Unlike the kids in the documentary, my parents kept us scrubbed and clean to the point of gleaming, fed us before they fed themselves, did the very best to keep us warm, read library books to us, walked us to Sunday school, and even made toys for us to play with. After watching in awe at Blue Peter, where they made a house for a 'Cindy doll', unknown to me, my dad worked quietly at night and made one for me, and the furniture! Mum used to make dolls clothes for us and my brother had the most amazing homemade 'dilly cart'. I remember hating Christmas because other kids would boast and at the beach kids had ice cream and I didn't. But I can look back now , at the most amazing childhood of home grown food, homemade clothes, and parents, who without any money, sometimes unemployed due to be off 'long term sick' did the very, very best they could for us.

Please follow the link to the BBC i-player, please watch it. I also felt compelled to do something. I found the local 'foodbank' in the area where I work and where I live.

I've emailed and was given a shopping list and was told they would be grateful for anything on that list. In my area, hundreds of boxes of emergency food have been given away. If you lose your job, and there is no redundancy package, it can be weeks and weeks before anyone gets any money at all. In the meantime, or should I say, in the lean time, they rely on handouts if they are unable to run up huge debts. They want simple things such as UHT milk, fruit juice and cereals, tinned meat of fish and so on. If you live in my area, 'google' Liskeard Food bank and they would be glad of donations; it's a national network and there may be one in your area, in that case just google the name of your area, followed by 'food bank'.

I could have been the unlucky ones, some of the kids I went to school with were dirty, smelly, tatty and lived in houses that smelt of chip fat and ciggies, mine smelt of homemade bread and crisp drying laundry. As I said, there by the grace of God go I.

Until tomorrow,

Froogs xxxxxx

I'll admit; I'm a cheap date!

Take a chicken breast per person, cut almost in half and flatten out, cover in a plastic bag and then gently use a rolling pin as a mallet to flatten it out even further.

 Our supper was not cheap! It shouldn't have been. This May marks the fifteen years we've been together and part of the reason that we've just about got enough money together to go for a week's really quite plush holiday. Anything is plush when you can't afford it. We've worked like troopers today. The whole house is clean, all the down stairs floors have been washed, all the windows have been cleaned, so has the car and the drive and paths are all swept and tidy. Careful shopping, after a bit of research has been split between Asda and Lidl this week. Our shopping bill has almost doubled, due to the high protein content and we can't get away without spending around £50 - £60 a week!

We don't eat out, I've given up drinking and Dearly Beloved drinks one bottle of beer a week! Good food keeps us going. I was having a coffee this morning, whilst watching Gino D'Acampo cooking and I've tried to do something similar. He stuffed chicken with minced wild mushroom and other yummy stuff, which I haven't used, but I've used his cooking method.

I used Quark, which I had drained over night to thicken, added a clove of crushed garlic and a two finely chopped shallots, a sprinkle of parsley and mixed together before stuffing the chicken.

 I then, in the financial absence of Parma ham!!! Wrapped each piece in smoky bacon, after firstly cutting off any fat.

 I then tightly wrapped it in cooking paper and formed a kind of Christmas cracker to keep it all together.

 I cooked it in the mini oven for 40 minutes. Check your own oven, every one is different and may need more of less time.

 I then made a dressing to go with the chicken and the salad. I peeled and de-seeded half a cucumber, finely diced it, added a tablespoon of mint sauce (sugar free) to a single portion size of plain fat free yoghurt. I loosened it with lemon juice and then decided, after tasting it, that some dried corriander would liven it up....and it did.

 It certainly tasted better than it looked..

Here's the cooked chicken. The quark in the centre was a bit of a disaster, when yoghurt products are cooked, they tend to seperate and the bottom of the roasting dish was just full of water, but the garlic, parsley and chopped shallots could be tasted in a burst at the centre of the chicken.

Here's the final result! Romantic meal for two. Homemade, frugal, carb free and it was totally delicious!

Happy Birthday to my only son!

 We have been so good with money for so long, sometimes I forget that I am allowed to spend it. We're watering the garden with shower and washing machine rinse water, we don't flush 'yellow', we don't waste anything, we save money to pay for everything on the nail, we don't shop and if we need something and can get if from a car boot sale or charity shop, we do. We haven't used credit cards since 2009 and have paid off credit card debt (still have car finance and home loan to go, but not for much longer). I home cook everything and waste nothing. We don't go to the cinema, theatre and haven't been on holiday of any sort since 2008. We've got it under control.

Last year, on my son and dad's birthday, the family came to me and I cooked every body lunch and we also did the same the year before that. This year we took our son out for lunch. We tried to coax our daughter to go with us but nothing will drag her out of where she needs to be to cope right now. She knows where we are.

Here's the events of our lovely day. We drove to Torpoint and took the ferry to Plymouth before picking up our son and heading into town.

 I purposefully persuaded them to park miles away from the restaurant as it's a beautiful day and I wanted to get a long walk into my day. I love Plymouth Hoe. It's where I used to take my children to roller blade and ride their bikes, where we used to walk our dog and a place where so many public events took place that we used to attend as a family with young children. I miss Plymouth in the summer.

 Here's the Plymouth version of the 'London eye'. I couldn't be persuaded to part with £21 for the three of us to go on it, even though I really wanted to.

 Plymouth really epitomises cafe society and there is nothing better than a stop off at a cafe on one of the terraces on the Hoe for a coffee in the middle of our walk to the Barbican.

 Here is me and my 25 year old only son! He works away from the area as a shop fitter and we rarely see him. It was just wonderful to spend the day with him. Time flies, he was ten years old when he, his sister and I moved to Plymouth. Below, is a rare shot of Dearly Beloved and I together, with the famous 'Barbican Prawn' sticking out of my head. We're standing by the Mayflower Steps, where the Pilgrims boarded the Mayflower for America, behind us is the National Marine Aquarium.

We took our son to a restaurant that we know is his kind of place, 'Rocky's' on Southside. Our meal cost more than a week's groceries. If you're interested............how did I do this on protein only? Moule marinere, no bread! Chicken Caesar salad, without croutons, without dressing, without Parmesan and they grilled me some bacon to go with it too! Dearly Beloved and #1 son had Calamari and then burgers with blue cheese and bacon, plus chips!!!! Plus beer! I was good and had water, as, I'm also the designated driver!

It's the first time I've taken my son anywhere in years, I know it was a massive blow out but once in three years can't be bad or anything to feel guilty about. I had my pedometer on too today and we walked for 3.2 miles, so I stuck to the carb free/low fat diet (with the exception of some salad) and I kept to my daily exercise.

Saying sorry but no, again and again.

Living on a limited income means that the word 'no' is more common than the word 'yes'. It's hard. I used to have to say it to my children and sometimes they would get upset and tell me that they hated me. I've had to say no to 'friends' who never invite me again. I've not gone to friends weddings and have been castigated by others who borrowed money to go. I've been unable to donate to charity events and people have called me 'tightfisted' and you can imagine the rest. No is a very powerful word. No I can't come to your party, no I can't come to your wedding, no I can't go on your weekend away, no I can't come and visit. I always apologise and I'm always nice about it, but still, the answer's no.


Some lovely relatives of Dearly Beloved are getting married. I wish them well and a long and loving marriage. Yet again, we have to RSVP with a sorry but no. The increasing trend of getting married in a hotel, requiring overnight accomodation and food, posh clothes as it's a posh hotel and as it's in the middle of nowhere, driving there at a large expense has meant that we have so many relatives who we never saw marry.

It is very sad. These are the moments when you have to find the resolve to say no. We could borrow the money, borrow the money for the posh frock, hair do and so on. But we've always said, if we were going to borrow the money to go to a wedding, then we'd get married ourselves.

It is also very sad that we can't afford to get married. I know what you're all going to say, that you got married on a borrowed ring and had sandwiches. We have a family who wouldn't turn up for that. You see, I married twenty six years ago and went to a registry office, had a buffet and a glass of wine back at our flat and my parents refused to come, didn't tell anyone they knew and were deeply ashamed that they couldn't afford to help me. It sent my mother into a darkness that I am ashamed to say I caused. She won't go to weddings either as they know they've never been able to fund weddings for their three children, my brother has never married, my sister married in secret and I can't remarry. So, until mum dies, I won't be having a cheap wedding. Mothers can instill guilt into their offspring that's life long and very very deep.

We won't be able to go to yet another family wedding. We will be given a very hard time about it, but know we have no disposable income to spend hundreds of pounds on time off without pay, travel, clothing, accomodation and food, hair do, money for drinks at the bar and so on.

Back to a more cheerful note. We will be sending them some money for their honeymoon and hope they have a lovely time. Thankfully, due to the power of Facebook, we will get to see all the photos and know they will have a lovely time. Our love and prayers to them xxxxx

P.S In response to the remarks which I have not published. I would go if I could. I wish them well. I have a very tight budget and nothing spare. I don't mind wearing clothes from charity shops, but when the guests are in their finery, I don't want to lower the tone. I don't own a dress, not one. I'm sure the person would not have made the 'suggestions' they did if they had read all of my blog, the journey I am on and there is not a penny spare. I have to save up and scrimp for car insurance and at the end of every month, there is nothing left if I have to pay a bill or fix something.

I've got a never ending love for you!

 I'll start off with a load of positives! Yesterday ended really well. The sprouts have now sprouted and are in a  tub in the fridge and will be eaten tonight with something tasty and healthy. I read Hardup Hester's blog about meat being on offer in the Co-op and I walked down for a look as, I live on the same street as the local Co-op supermarket and usually it's more expensive than Waitrose! They had meat on offer for three packs (750g a pack) for £10. I bought minced beef, a whole chicken and four lean pork steaks. I have lots of Chinese style sauces, that I had bought for next to nothing from Approved Foods and I always have ginger, chilli and garlic in house so everything can be a stir fry. I had also bought a kilo bag of frozen stir fry veggies from Tesco when I last went there.

I had tired and hungry people in the house and we were well fed.

The start of the day  was dreadful. The phone rang at four in the morning, which usually involves poo and the fan colliding! It did! Daughter was on her way. To cut a very long and sorry story short she'd had a night out that would have challenged the combined drinking and drug taking capacity of: Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain and Ozzy Osborne! She had been found wandering around North Hill in Plymouth in a very bad state, she's managed to borrow a phone and called her dad to collect her. He brought her to me.

She was filthy, not washed, soaked through, disoriented and sobbing her heart out, covered in bruises and still in the middle of a two hour long panic attack. It took me a while to calm her down and then she proceeded to cuddle and sob into big dog for the next hour. When the sobbing subsided, she took up residency on the sofa, under the blanket and continued to cuddle big dog and then fell asleep. She awoke a few hours later in a 'coming down' black mood and  I managed to persuade her to change her clothes. I had, by now, washed the clothes her dad had dropped off and things were looking better.


I gave myself a break and walked to the Co-op and brought some of the 'on offer' meat home and then made the stir fry.........always one of her favourites. Bad mood continued with demands to be taken back to Plymouth and dropped off at a friend's house. I refused (I do tough love whilst dad/ex/total plonker just gives in) and she settled herself in for the evening. We were all exhausted after being woken at stupid o'clock and she was off to bed early and then slept through until midday today.

 Today has been lovely, I've knitted and we've chatted. She is being very trying, but as ever, she's my baby girl and I adore her no matter what she does, when she does it or what we have to do to support her. On the plus side, after waiting for ages she is getting professional counselling from 'Adaction', who specialise in dependency and she knows when her next appointment is and where she has to go to see them. She was apologetic today and extremely grateful. Even though yesterday was utterly shite, today is sunnier and I can see some progress.

Her dad gave in (after one phone call...........that man has the breaking strain of a kit-kat!) and has taken her back to Plymouth this evening. I've done what I can and she knows I love her, I'm here and no matter what times she call and no matter what state she is in, I'm here for her because the bell rang and it was time to climb back into the ring again.

Until tomorrow,

Froogs xxxx

Back to life, back to frugality.

This week has thrown my usual financial caution to the wind. I have been backwards and forwards to Plymouth on three separate occasions. I filled the car up with diesel and have got through £50 of diesel in a week of running everywhere I have needed to go. I took mum out for lunch, where I usually would always cook for guests, but this week, I truly couldn't muster up the enthusiasm. Today we went to daughter's flat and guess what? She wasn't there! We found her and got her home so she could let the glazing company in to take measurements and then we waited and waited for the boiler engineer. He turned up, looking completely unbothered, came through the door with out a tool box, took one look at the boiler and said it was very old (not as old as the boiler in my own home!), that it had been leaking and wasn't 'worth his while'. In other words, it was a big job, he just wanted to get in and out, service the boiler, charge £150 and go and not bother with diagnostics, ordering parts, fixing leaks or even getting the tool box out of the van!


I phone 'ex' and told him that it was beyond repair. He has now scheduled the almighty 'British Gas' to come and survey for a new boiler and central heating system, which will then be installed in six to eight weeks. I don't live in 'La-La' land and know my son has been boiling the kettle and washing in a bucket since last November and just went out and bought an electric shower, and my son has organised a plumber/electrician to come tomorrow to get the electrics to the bathroom and I will just leave the money for him to pay they guy. As I said, frugality has gone out of the window.

The flat did not have any curtains or blinds. I went to the charity shop for curtains but had to buy the curtain poles and hooks from B&Q and also a water resistant roller blind for the bathroom. Dearly Beloved also gave up a day's pay to come to the flat today and put up curtains and blinds. It has been a very expensive week.

I feel victorious tonight though. I actually got round to cooking something, what we call a 'mini-roast' as it has a minuscule amount of meat and comes out of the mini-oven. Four pork loin steaks are £2.29 in Lidl and I split the pack and wrap the chops in pairs. I have portions of apple puree in the freezer, that I just leave to defrost, which means tonight's supper was back to being under £1.

 I also took the time to cancel the renewal of my 'central heating boiler' insurance. The trusty old 'ideal classic' is almost twenty years old and was fixed last year and I then took out 'Homeserve' insurance for a year, at a reasonable £95.90 a year. I didn't make a claim and expected the fee to reduce this year. It didn't. The policy increased to £144. So I phoned and cancelled. I tried negotiating and said I would be happy to stay with the company if they kept the premiums the same, they couldn't so I went else where.

After using all of the price comparison websites, I found 'OmniAssist'. I then did my usual thing of trawling the net looking for information about them. They use local independent 'Gas Safe' engineers to provide the cover for them. Instead of £144 a year, they charge £66 a year. There is an excess charge of £50, but my last boiler repair, when I didn't have insurance, cost over £300, so I consider that to be worth it.
This has been a very expensive week and I will have to be exceedingly careful over the next few weeks to make sure I save as much money as I can. It really is time to get back to frugality.

Until tomorrow,
Froogs xxx

When the bell rings, come out fighting

Like all fighters, I had to have a rest day, and today has been a total collapse day. Mum came up to visit today and we went out for a buy one, get one free lunch at a local hostelry and it was nice to have some one to off load to. It's hard to talk to mum about 'problems'; she's been in the ring so many times that she's punch drunk and hardened and she shrugs and knows, we'll all survive, as she said "You have to, who else will do it?" She's my 'Mickey' and never handed out tea and sympathy, just another instruction that you have to get on with it. In her own words, she always told me "You're gonna eat lightenin' and you're gonna crap thunder!"

Tomorrow is a fight day, when I strap my knuckles and get greased up. I go back to Devonport, back to the flat and do what I can to make it Jo and Rik's home. I have arranged another gas engineer to come round. The boiler may be in good working order and I'll just pay him. It may not and he may condemn it. If that happens, after a being slapped to the canvas, the bell will ring and I'll just get up again. I'll move into plan B and wizz off to buy an electric shower and go home and find an electrician to go round and fit it.

Along with the central heating engineer, I have also arranged for a double glazing sales man (I know him, I bought windows from him before and he has one price and he's not duplicitous) to measure up for new doors and windows. As the windows are falling out of their casements, my son, has nailed them shut and has sealed them with mastic for good measure. If there is a fire, they won't be able to get out and they will die! Secondly, deepest darkest Devonport is crack ridden and everyone is robbing everyone else for the next fix (I was broken into twice whilst I lived in Plymouth and once,there were builders working in the house and some drugged crazy broke in!) so the flat needs to be secure. It has to have new doors and windows.

After both of those bouts, I then take on my Ivan Drago and get ex-twat- to pay for all of this. He's lives in a different financial world, I will have to send him an invoice and his accountant will pay me at the end of the month. In the mean time, I'll be queueing up for soup but that's the way he does business.

However, just like Rocky, when all the odds are stacked up against me, I may still win. I may well be writing about the warm flat, with hot running water and windows that open and close and a door that can't simply be pushed open. My Mickey mum, toughened me up well and taught me a lesson, long before Rocky every uttered it to his son.

"But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep movin forward. How much you can take and keep movin forward. That's how winning is done!"

I'll be back tomorrow when Froogs rides out again.

Froogs xxxx

Dear Super Mario

I'm calling you 'Super Mario' as I can't call you what I want to call you as decent people read this blog, if they didn't I would call you a time wasting snivelling git! You and I spoke on Monday and made an arrangement to be at my daughter's flat at mid day today. We spoke again last night to confirm that you would be there. Guess what readers.......Super Mario and his heating and engineering services didn't turn up and then he had his mobile phone on answer phone all day. I'm delighted that you are a millionaire and don't need to fix boilers any more and can give work away; I, on the other hand , am not a millionaire and went back and forwards to Plymouth using diesel I can ill afford. Even though you had my home number, and mobile number, you still didn't call and say you couldn't make the appointment and then wouldn't answer the phone or answer machine messages.


I had to take my daughter, whose nerves jangle when ever she has to do anything new or taxing, and today, she had to sort all her room out, in a flat she's too scared to live in and did so, even though she was scared as she thought she was imminently going to get hot water and heating. After an hour of waiting, she lost the plot and disappeared off to 'stay with friends', which translates to 'waking up in a squat in a scene reminiscent of 'Trainspotting' '. So thank you very much Mario (not actually called Mario, in case there is a perfectly good central heating engineer called Mario in Plymouth) after coaxing my daughter back to feeling strong enough to let me into her 'room' where the boiler is housed, and waiting and calling................you didn't turn up.
 
By the way Mario, if you ever think the most dangerous place on earth is with these guys, on foot patrol, in Helmand province.....
 
 

well think again..................the most dangerous place on earth is between a mother and her child!

When the challenge becomes exciting.

 Many, many thanks to everyone who left such encouraging words yesterday. This blog reminds me every day what a wonderful world I live in as it is filled with so much compassion, common sense and good humour. Yesterday had challenges and today has had rewards. My daughter truly is a 'mini-froogs'. Sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

Very well meaning ex-husband bought son and daughter a flat in deepest darkest Devonport, in Plymouth. It was cheap and it's affordable for my son. However, very well meaning ex-husband has never bought a property (everything inherited) and literally bought the flat off a 'man down the pub'. It's worth what he paid for it but it's tatty and needs work. Lovely son of mine is a builder but on very short hours and is just paying the rent/mortgage and there's nothing left. Consequently, he hasn't been able to get the gas tested, the boiler serviced and there is no heat and no hot water. Tomorrow (not going to be a frugal day!) there will be. He has lived independently for years and it used to roughing it as a contractor, who sleeps where ever he lays his head. It was meant to be a home for our daughter too, but because of her inner turmoil; she took one look at a grimy damp flat and turned and never went back. Tomorrow, it will look a lot better and will be the start of becoming home for her, when she is ready to live there.

As I was saying, daughter is 'mini-froogs' and was delighted with our charity shop today. I took her shop to shop showing her what was cheap. Bedding, towels, tea-towels, crockery, saucepans, curtains and pennies and no where in comparison with new prices. She chose and I bought the following for her today.  A double quilt for £2, retro double sheets for £1 each, double duvet cover and pillow cases for £2, a shirt for 50p and one bath towel, two hand towels and a bath mat for £3. The loveliest thing she found was a set of curtains for £7.50 and I couldn't buy the material and make them for that. She was excited by the cheapness of everything and acknowledged that living independently was within her means, even if she has to temporarily claims benefits until she is well enough to work.

I've known plenty of teenagers in my career and very few embrace the second hand items that can make a place a home. She spent ages looking a crockery, cutlery and saucepans and was really friendly and chatty to the ladies in Salvation Army shop (my favourite, also one of my favourite charities and I always try to spend money in there).

She fully understood when I became excited to find a preserving pan for £5, also in the Sally Army shop as the pan I use at home (the cleaned out chip pan) isn't quite big enough and I'm always afraid that it will boil over. Depression comes and goes for her and today, although it was a strain to get  out, was an adventure for her and she had great fun.

Many thanks again for the kind words.

Until tomorrow, Froogs xxxx

A soft place to fall

Dear Josie,


"When your down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,

And you know where ever I am

I'll come running"

No blog today, I rocked my troubled baby to sleep and I'm sat quietly knitting. I'm just there.

Froogs Mum x

These are a few of my favourite things

 Dearly Beloved cooked dinner tonight. We had a 'here's one I prepared earlier' Cottage pie, with a tin of mushy peas and some steamed curly kale. I love dark green bitter winter veggies, I love the iron content. I never ate mushy peas until I was a teenager and ate them, on a bitter snowy night in my mother's native Derby, in back street chippy. Some of the local kids, who were my grandad's neighbours, took me out for a cone of chips with mushy peas poured on top. When you ate them, green mush ran down your fingers and you licked it off your wrists. I remember thinking that they were the most delicious thing I had ever eaten. Even now, they are one of my favourite things.

Approved foods - 8 large bottles of low fat mayo - 99p, 3 pots of tartare sauce 99p, 3 pots of French's mustard 99p, 3 bottles of salad dressing 99p, catering size pack of sausage casserole sauce 1.50, scone mix for 100 scones 99p, 2 more packs of skimmed milk - free, 3 packs of Hovis granary bread mix 99p, 3 kilo bags of gluten free flour 99p. All part of my last order that took a few more day to get here.

 One of my other favourite things is my well stocked dry good cupboard. I have hungry colleagues and I'm looking forward to treating them to a big Tupperware box of homemade scones with strawberry jam, I've taken in a big bag of milk sachets already. Dearly Beloved loves to take sandwiches to work and they must always have either mayonnaise or mustard. His eyes lit up when he saw he had eight large pots of mayo......if only Approved foods would sell reduced price tuna.

Ten things about me....what about you?

 My greatest sadness is that my teenage daughter left home at sixteen and I still sob uncontrollably at my inadequate parenting.  I wish I could turn back the clock and get it right.
 I don't let my hair down very often, metaphorically or physically. It's very difficult getting any work done as I have very fluffy dogs.

Three years later, I still cry when I think of my girly dog Pippin, who died of a heart attack in January 2007. She's the one on the right and she was very precious. The boy dog on the left, is Bobby Dazzler as a puppy.
I'm slightly obsessed about dogs. I use them to compensate for my 'empty nest' I talk to the dogs and tell them things that I don't even tell you. The word 'fun' makes me want to run to the hills. My son build the posh kitchen in my old house (still paying for it!) That makes ten.

Another year!

I'm 45 today! Born in the mid 60's. Went to school through the 70's and early eighties. Was a young woman in the early eighties. A mum in the mid eighties and early nineties. Back to college and career building in the noughties. There have been ups and downs and I feel I've met  a feeling of balance  in my life. These are great times to live through.

Precious Moments

 Dearly Beloved and I went to Plymouth today to meet up with my daughter. It's her birthday in a few days time and we took her shopping for clothes. She's had a real epiphany with money as for most of the year, she's lived without any at all. She can come home at any time, likewise to her Dad's house but she chooses to live in Plymouth and 'sofa surf'. She has no job, is not entitled to benefits and lives where she can. Her health has not been good and she hasn't always made the best lifestyle choices. Nonetheless, she's my precious daughter, I love her to pieces and any precious moments I can spend with her make up for all the times I don't get to see her. She was really concerned about the costs of clothes today and was concerned that I could afford to buy her what she wanted. I couldn't...........she doesn't know that. I've marked exams for weeks to pay to help my son and daughter out, I would just have to stretch to buy some clothes.

 Plymouth, like a lot of city centres was looking 'down at heel', some what shabby and tatty round the edges. A Christmas market livened the place up and Josie chose a hat as one of her presents. 400 'Santas' also livened the place up today, as people paid and were sponsored to take part in a fun run to raise money for the 'Precious Lives' appeal to raise money for the Children's Hospice South West; they're almost there and it's almost built but every penny counts. Everyone of them will have their reason for running; what stars they all were to pound the streets of Plymouth on this chilly day.

 It was amazing to see Josie so well, so happy, really talkative and positive. She wanted to know what she was like when she was small and then talked about the future. For so long, the here and now, staying alive, being upright and a member of the human race was all she could manage. For her to be able to contextualise life in between the past and future was a real step in any direction better than back wards.

It's been a good day. A few pounds spent on some clothes and a rather fetching hat! A smile and a hug from my daughter was just priceless.